just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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