I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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