In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize