So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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