PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize