Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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