just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize