Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize