You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize