so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
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i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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