Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
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Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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