Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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