so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize