You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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