garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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