she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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