But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
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Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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