you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize