they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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