She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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