I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize