my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize