Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize