Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize