I wish I could teleport
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize