I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize