Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
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I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
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And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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