When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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