You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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