Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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