the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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