i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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