So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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