Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize