i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize