the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize