yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize