You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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