I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
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You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
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Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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