the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize