i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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