youre lurking in front of me
well you can't waste a boner
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
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So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
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Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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