dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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