So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize