Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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