it was like eating out sand paper
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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