I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize