Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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