there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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