The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
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Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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